Who Do You Want to Be?

Brad Sullivan
Proper 21, Year B
Sunday, September 23, 2012
St. Mark’s, Bay City
Esther 7:1-6, 9-10, 9:20-22
Psalm 124
James 5:13-20
Mark 9:38-50

            I’m going to preach today from the Gospel and from a song by Guy Forsyth called “Leave Me Alone”, from his album Calico Girl.  After singing the song, I will discuss it and tie it to our Gospel lesson.  I won’t post the words of the song, however, as it is not my song to post.  To read the lyrics and listen to the song, go to www.guyforsyth.com.

Ok, so they guy in the song says he wants to be left alone, but he really doesn’t.  That last line says, “don’t let them see which one is me or they will leave me alone.”  He’s afraid that if people really know who he is, then they won’t want to be around him.  So, he’s got this kind of curmudgeon, I just want to be left alone attitude, but he’s craving being around people, he just doesn’t quite know how. 

He says, “they all danced so well tonight, spinning cartwheels ‘round the moon.”  He admired and loved the fun and joy people were having together, and he longed to be a part of it.  He just couldn’t bring himself to do it.  “I didn’t even have the strength to move my legs, I didn’t even catch the tune.”  So, he finally decides he’s had enough, he’s gonna be someone different and have the strength to go out and be with people, so he says, “if you want to be who you want to be, you have to give up who you are.”

That’s where this ties in with our Gospel message today.  I think that’s about what Jesus was saying.  “If you want to be who you want to be, you have to give up who you are.”

Jesus was speaking to his disciples, Jews who were followers of God who presumably wanted to be faithful followers of God, living in and enacting God’s kingdom.  That’s what Jesus taught his disciples to pray, “God’s kingdom come, God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”  That wasn’t a someday in the future prayer.  That was a daily prayer, “let me enact your kingdom and do your will here in my life on earth as I will one day in heaven.” 

So Jesus was saying, if you really want to follow God’s will and enact God’s kingdom, then you will likely have to change some of your actions or habits.  “If you want to be who you want to be, you have to give up who you are.”

If your hands are habitually causing harm, alright, you could cut them off.  Please, no dismemberments, no one cut off your hands as a result of today’s Gospel lesson.  If your hands are habitually causing harm, then you need to change the habits of your hands.  Find out what need you’re trying to till with this harmful habit, and seek to fill that need in a way that doesn’t cause harm…or maybe just don’t fill that need, but offer it to God, and seek God’s help in all of this.  “If you want to be who you want to be, you have to give up who you are.”

Alright, now, let me give a brief word about hell.  The word we translate as hell is actually Gehenna, an ancient garbage dump outside of Jerusalem.  This was a cursed place, where one of the ancient Jewish kings had practiced human sacrifice…he was not well liked or remembered.  So, this valley, Gehenna, became the symbol of the place of God’s wrath and judgment, and the place eventually where Israel burnt its garbage, so the fire literally kept on going.

So, Jesus is saying, if you’re habitually causing harm to yourself or others, then you’ve made yourself fit for the burning garbage heap, the symbolic place of God’s anger and judgment.  So, Jesus is saying if you really want to be my disciples, if you really want to live faithfully to God, then you just might have to change your ways.  There is always forgiveness with God, but “if you want to be who you want to be, you have to give up who you are.”

This was true for me earlier this week as I was late taking Noah to school and I was embarrassed about it, figuring they’d think of me as irresponsible.  I tend to stress about being late, partly out of respect for others, and partly out of not wanting to look bad, so we were late, it was my fault, and Noah was dawdling, not moving as quickly as I would have liked, so I was irritable and kind of a jerk to him, trying to get him to hurry up.  I later apologized to him and told him I was being a jerk…this is not the way to treat people.

I realized that whatever was in me that cared so much about being on time had to go.  I prayed for God to remove it from me; I’m still praying for that, but since I’ve been seeking to give that up, the week’s been better.  So, that’s my example of the truth of Jesus’ lesson, but it’s only one example.

What’s yours?  As we go through our weeks, my suggestion is that we sit with this lesson of Jesus and find out what might need to be cut out of us, metaphorical cutting, again.  What is keeping me from living fully into God’s kingdom?  What might I need to change about myself or what actions or motivations might I need to remove in order to live more fully into God’s kingdom?  We’re disciples of Jesus.  That’s what we want, to live fully into God’s kingdom in which we love God and love others.  We may have to change in order to do that.  “If you want to be who you want to be, you have to give up who you are.”  Amen.