Fumbling In the Dark

Brad Sullivan

2 Epiphany, Year A

January 14, 2017

Emmanuel, Houston

John 1:29-42

Fumbling In the Dark

Repentance leads to seeing Jesus.  That is what I heard in our Gospel story this morning, as John was declaring Jesus to be the Lamb of God, the one who would take away the sins of the world.  John said that he came baptizing so that Jesus would be revealed to Israel.  Now John came with a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins, and his doing so led to Jesus being revealed as God’s son after he was baptized by John.  This baptism of repentance led to a revelation of Jesus, seeing him as more than a carpenter’s son, but as the Son of God who has saved the world from their sins.  For us, repentance leads to seeing Jesus as well and being guided by the light of Jesus, without which, without Jesus, we’re fumbling in the dark.

We may not feel like we’re fumbling in the dark.  We’re so often guided, after all, our own lights, one of which being the light of some truth that we hold.  Guided by our own lamps of truth, it’s little wonder we end up fumbling in the dark, especially considering how vitriolic our lamps of truth have become as of late.  We know that we are right, or even if not completely sure of our own correctness, we know with absolute certainty that the other side is wrong.  That vitriol, that certainty in our own truth leaves us fumbling in the dark..

Jesus is the light of the world, the light of God, we’re told in the first chapter of John, and we’re told that Jesus came with grace and truth.  Jesus came with truth, and we tend to hold onto that truth as best we understand it, especially when we’re fumbling in the dark.  Even more than the light of Jesus’ truth, however, we need the  light of Jesus’ grace. 

Jesus’ grace didn’t demand total understanding of truth from people.  Jesus spent time with a lot of people who certainly didn’t seem to have truth wrapped up particularly well.  Jesus was called a friend of sinners, and as such he didn’t lambast or lecture them.  He had dinner with them.  When he saw people fumbling in the dark, he gave them grace and love to be their light along with his truth.

Jesus came with grace to see us as fumbling in the dark as well, doing our best as we walk along the well worn paths of our lives, when we’re often not even guided by light anymore, but simply by repetition, following in the same old paths, the same old ways that we can follow with our eyes closed, ways that don’t lead anywhere good, but ways which we know so well that they just feel right.  Jesus came with grace enough to give us light so that when we repent, when we turn from those well worn paths toward a new path, we have light to follow in the way of Jesus.  

Back in high school, I believed I was following in the way of Jesus.  I’d grown up a Christian my whole life, and I knew nothing but the truth.  I knew about the Gospel and about Jesus.  He was the truth, and that was that.  So, at times back in high school, I ended up following a particular path, a path called:  moral superiority and mocking of liberals and various morally unacceptable people in the guise of righteously upholding Jesus and Christian values.  It felt like truth.  It was really just bullying.

My views on various things changed over the years.  Various truths changed, but I still believed in Jesus.  In my late teens and early twenties, I began to repent of the ways I had been walking, so certain of my truth that I could denigrate others for not holding the same truth. 

Then, in seminary, I found myself agreeing with some of the more liberal views on several issues, especially the hot button issues of the time.  I was sickened, however, at how the opposing views, views which I had previously held, were not really welcome on campus.  The goal of Virginia Theological Seminary was for all views to be welcome, but in practice, VTS was following the same path I had followed back in high school, though at VTS it was called:  intellectual superiority and mocking of conservatives and various morally unacceptable beliefs in the guise of love and respect for all people.  It felt like truth to those on that path.  It was really just bullying.

Those of us who have been on that path, the path of (assumed) truth without grace, believe our own beliefs to be right and afford little or no grace to those with opposing views. When I have been on that path, I was blinded.  I knew where I wanted to go.  I knew the end, what was right, where we should all (I assumed) go as a society, but getting there, I was fumbling in the dark. 

Repenting of that certainty, that truth without grace, I found myself less certain about where I was going, but more confident in how I was getting there, guided by the light of Jesus. 

Over the last week, I realized that I again needed to repent from walking that same, well worn path of self-righteous, supposed truth.  My supposed truth without grace was in the belief that the wrong candidate had won the presidential election.  I wasn’t really excited about Hilary, but I was so turned off by Trump’s rhetoric and seeming character flaws.  I knew I was right and the other side was wrong, until I finally really listened to my cousin, a Trump supporter, and I realized how self-righteous I had been in my belief.  Supposed truth without grace and bullying had become my path again, and I was wrong. I needed to repent of that path and let the light of Jesus be revealed to me once again. 

My less than stellar views of our president elect didn’t change, but I can hold those views more lightly now.  I may very well be wrong.  He may be exactly what this country needs.  More importantly, having repented of the path of supposed truth without grace, I can follow Jesus again when he says to his disciples, “come and see”, rather than be deaf to his invitation or too caught up in thinking myself right even to care.  In my supposed truth without grace, I was blind to Jesus all around me.  I was blind to Jesus in people all around me.  I was wrong.  I needed to repent of that path.  I’m guessing I’m the only one.

Here’s what I think now regarding the election, and I offer these thoughts for all of those still struggling with the decisions or the reactions of those on the other side.  People made the best choices they could with the information they had and the information which they were able to believe.  Folks on both sides of this thing have asked, “how could you possibly have voted for [this candidate], knowing [this terrible thing] about them.”  How could you be so stupid or immoral as to vote for whichever candidate?  That’s about the sentiment I’ve heard quite often.  Now, not wanting the other candidate to win is pretty normal, but good gracious, it seems that an awful lot of people on both sides viewed the other candidate as the latest incarnation of Satan. Some even thought the comparison gave Satan a bad name.

How could either side vote for a candidate who seemed so horribly flawed to the other side?  Well, it’s really kind of simple.  Our brains will only allow us so much cognitive dissonance before they begin jettisoning some bad information (or assuming it to be false) so that they can handle and align what we do with what we believe.

Adding to differences of policy off, folks were fearfully and (strongly) against Trump because of what he’d said and done/reportedly done.  They saw a particular character emerge from the information given, a character which could not be supported.  Folks who were against Hillary, saw a similarly deficient character emerge based on what Hillary had said and done/reportedly done, a character which could not be supported. 

Both groups did the best they could with the information they had, and many within both groups had to ignore/gloss over, or explain away some of the more troubling aspects of each candidates’ character.  Regarding the truth of either candidate and the soundness of a vote for either, we’re all fumbling in the darkness, doing our best with very limited knowledge of truth.  We have incomplete truth.  We can’t have anything but incomplete truth. 

Grace, on the other hand, well that we have in abundance, and grace is something we can give in abundance.  Many want us to come together as people, as the body of Christ, and we need to.  We need to give each other grace with our competing, incomplete truths, grace enough to say, “I truly believe you were doing the best you could.” 

Otherwise both sides of any issue continue to walk on well worn paths that feel like truth, but which are really just bullying.  When we’re on those paths, no matter how certain we are, we’re blind, our paths lighted only by the darkness of certainty and truth without grace which end up leaving us fumbling in the darkness of bullying. 

Repenting of that path, we can see Jesus again.  Turning toward Jesus, with his light to guide us, we don’t always know exactly where we are going, or where we’ll end up, but we do know the way.  Jesus is the way.   With the grace of Jesus and restored relationships to guide us, we travel together toward an uncertain future, secure not in the destination, secure not in the end, but secure in each other, and secure in the grace of Jesus to guide us.

Life After The Apocalypse

Brad Sullivan

Proper 28, Year C

November 13, 2016

Emmanuel, Houston

Isaiah 65:17-25

Luke 21:5-19

Life After The Apocalypse

Your worst fears are coming true, but fear not.  That’s basically part of what Jesus was saying in the discourse to his disciples that we heard today.  “Guys, you’re about to be living in Diaspora again.  You are about to be scattered among the nations, living in places that don’t really support your faith.  The Temple that you love so much…it’s gonna be gone in 40 years, and in about 100 years, Israel is going to be gone too.”  Jesus didn’t get that specific with the timeline, but he was telling them about the future destruction of the temple and of the nation of Israel itself. 

“Continuing to live out your faith is not going to be easy, guys,”  Jesus was saying.  “You won’t be able to depend on the beauty or even the existence of the Temple.  You will have no state, no Jewish government to allow you to keep in the ways of your faith.  Also, y’all who are following in my way, before the total destruction of Israel, you’re even going to be persecuted within Israel.  So here then, is how y’all will need to live post apocalypse.” 

“Be steadfast in your faith, more than ever. Trust in God and in the ways of his Gospel, because you will have no temple, nor any government to turn to.  You will have no great community around you making it easy for you to live out your faith.  So be steadfast, live out your faith with intentionality.  Live out your faith with each other, and continue to follow in my ways, even when the culture around you says and does otherwise.”

As disciples of Jesus in the 21st century, we find ourselves in a much less dire but similar situation to what Jesus was preparing his disciples for.  In America, we’re not exactly persecuted for our faith, but we do live in a culture that often says and does things counter to the Gospel.  Truth be told, we often end up taking that culture as our own, and not following in the ways of Jesus ourselves all that well.

Some of Jesus’ teachings are rather difficult and don’t exactly jive with our mainstream culture or even our natural inclinations.  “For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it,” Jesus said. (Matthew 16:25)  ‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, (Matthew 5:43-44)  ‘You have heard that it was said, “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also;’ (Matthew 5:38-39)

Not easy, right.  If someone were to punch me, I would really want to punch them back.  Instead, I’m supposed to not lose my temper, not give into my anger and my hurt, and instead take a breath and say, “ok, do you need to hit me again, because if you do, here I am, you can.”  I believe that way of Jesus will bring about more peace and love in the world; I think it might actually resolve the situation, but it’s not exactly easy, and it’s not exactly the American way.  “Speak softly but carry a big stick” is a far cry from “turn the other cheek.” 

As Christians, we are somewhat a people in diaspora.  We don’t live in a Christian nation.  We don’t live in a Christian theocracy like the first century nation of Israel.  We don’t have some overarching governmental authority to help guide us and keep us in our faith.  As Wendy Claire Barrie wrote in her book, Faith at Home, the way of Jesus is “counter-cultural, revolutionary, and not quite what mainstream culture would have us believe.”  So, she writes about many ways we can live out our faith at home or at any time, when we’re not surrounded and supported by our church buildings, by the sanctuary that our church community makes for us.

Make the dinner table the altar in your house.  Prepare your meals and then eat together in such a way that the whole meal is a prayer, in which you share your stories of faith, you share where Jesus has been working in your life.  Offer up that meal to God in remembrance of Jesus, like we do here on Sunday morning.

Turn your bedtime into a time of reflection like Jesus took when he went away to a lonely place so often to pray and offer up his life to God, take that time at bedtime to God the day that is past:  the good, the bad.  “How have I turned away from Jesus?  Where have I seen Jesus in my life?”  Offer that time of reflection to God as you end your day, and as you rise in the morning, dedicate the day to come to God.  Look for all those times and places where you may see him.  You will have turned your bedroom into a sanctuary, into a sacred space for God.

Rather than seeking retribution when wronged, seek peace and forgiveness, following after the ways of Jesus. 

“Follow my way anywhere and everywhere,” Jesus said.  That’s another part of what Jesus was teaching his disciples when he told them that the temple would be torn down.  Jesus revealed to his disciples that when the temple was gone, they would need to and also be able to find him and follow in his ways anywhere in the world.  That was an apocalypse for them, apocalypse meaning a revealing, a revelation.  “God’s not just here in the Temple, or just here in Israel,” Jesus was saying.  “God is everywhere and we can live out our faith anywhere.”  So too do we get to find God anywhere in the world, anywhere in our lives.  That’s life after the apocalypse, life after the revealing.  “Your worst fears are coming true,” Jesus was saying, “but fear not, for you can find God anywhere.”

For many folks, people’s worst fears came true when Donald Trump was elected president.  To be fair, I think a lot of people’s worst fears came true when Barak Obama was elected president…and before that, and before that.  People’s worst fears often come true when we elect a new president (or when darn near anything happens that people don’t like). 

In both cases, with both our president-elect and our current president, I think some of people’s fears were probably well-founded.  Presidents make bad decisions, we see who is coming, and we expect those bad decisions.  I think also that some of those fears are not well founded, but largely emotional reactions that get so worked up that we’re afraid it’s all coming to an end, but I don’t think that particular apocalypse is going to happen because of who’s sitting in office.  The real apocalypse for me, the real revelation has been to see how much hope or despair we place in one person. 

I’ve seen it written and heard it said many times that “We need to bring God back to our country.”  When did he leave?  Perhaps we at least thought he left when anyone started thinking that it is up to our president or anyone in our government to allow us to believe in God, follow in the ways of Jesus, or teach us how to follow in the ways of Jesus.  I don’t want the government teaching us how to follow in Jesus’ ways.  They suck at it.  Sorry, but they do.

Whether we’re talking about the president or congress or any government official, whoever it is, is not Jesus.  That one person, whoever it is, is not in charge of us following in the ways of Jesus.  Regardless of who is president, regardless of if we like that person or not, we are still a people in diaspora.  We are still disciples of Jesus living among a nation, within a culture that does not seek first and foremost to follow in Jesus’ way, and it is not up to any president to teach people to follow in Jesus’ way. 

It is not up to a president or anyone else to teach our children to follow in Jesus’ way.  It is not up to a president or anyone else to show people the light of the Gospel, the love of Jesus, and the peace of his way. 

It is rather, up to us, Jesus’ disciples, to show people the light of the Gospel.  It is up to us, Jesus’ disciples, to show people the love of Jesus.  It is up to us, Jesus’ disciples, to show people to peace of Jesus’ way.  It is also up to us to notice all of the times, and places, and ways that we see Jesus in the world.

That is life after the apocalypse.  God still the creator, ruler, and redeemer of all creation.  God is still anywhere and everywhere in the world, and as disciples of Jesus in this house or in our own houses, or anywhere in the world, we get to see God’s presence and point it out.

Regardless of what anything in the culture or world around us may say, regardless of whether our worst fears have come true or our prayers have been answered, the question we ask ourselves is:  “What do we give our hearts to?”  That’s what belief really is, not just what we think is true, but what do we live and follow?  What do we give our hearts to?

Living in diaspora, it is easy to give our hearts to all kinds of ways that are not the way of Jesus, and we usually do so for really good reasons, like being connected with other people or seeking solace from the storms of life.  At the same time, living in Diaspora, we can find Jesus and find people following in his ways in all sorts of places and situations that on the surface don’t seem particularly Jesusy. 

Jesus is alive and well in all kinds of ways and places, in our religious culture and even in the culture around us.  In giving our hearts to Jesus, we don’t need to rail against and point out all the places, and people, and situations that are “bad and evil” and say, “Jesus isn’t there.”  Jesus might argue that point with us.  Giving our hearts to Jesus and living in disapora, living in a culture that is not particularly Christian, we get to point out all the ways and places that Jesus is there, all of the ways and places where we see Jesus in the culture and the lives of people all around us.  Even in the places where people think, “I shouldn’t tell the priest that I’m going here tonight...it’s Saturday night, I’ll pray on Sunday morning.”  No.  If you’re somewhere on Saturday night, Jesus is there too, and you get to point it out.  You get to notice, and see, and show where all the blessing are in this world.  That’s life after the apocalypse.

Wherever we see grace, we see the way of Jesus.  Wherever we see forgiveness and love, we see the way of Jesus.  Wherever we see people doing their best to make the right choice, we see the way of Jesus.  Even living in disapora, even living in times when our worst fears have come true, fear not, Jesus says.  Fear not, and give your hearts to me.  Do not fight against each other or the culture around you, but follow in my ways, practice your faith even if it is counter-cultural, and then open your eyes to see me everywhere in the world around you.  Amen.

The Way of Jesus: Breaking Down the Wall that Divides Us

We are a nation divided.  We have been for a long time, and we are divided in many ways, not just Trump v. Hillary.  In the church, as members of the Body of Christ, we are sadly not that different in our division over the same issues.  We were called to be one in Jesus, and yet we are often divided over any number of issues (beliefs, church doctrine, political affiliation, biblical interpretation, dog people vs. cat people, the list goes on and on). 

Yet, as Paul wrote in his letter to the Ephesians,

[Jesus]  is our peace; in his flesh he has made both groups into one and has broken down the dividing wall, that is, the hostility between us.  He has abolished the law with its commandments and ordinances, so that he might create in himself one new humanity in place of the two, thus making peace, and might reconcile both groups to God in one body through the cross, thus putting to death that hostility through it. (Ephesians 2:14-16)

Paul was writing about the initial division in the church between Jewish Christians and Gentile Christians.  He said we are one.  He said Jesus has broken down the dividing wall of hostility between us. 

Why then, do we keep building it back up?

Well, fear plays into why we allow hostility to continue.  So does being hurt by the other.  In short, as much as we have been redeemed by Jesus, we are still broken and are still constantly in need of Jesus’ healing and restoration.  We still break each other out of our brokenness and are still constantly in need of Jesus’ forgiveness and reconciliation.

People on both sides of the presidential election were doing their best to make a choice that is right for this country.  That is the way of Jesus.

Some people on both sides have said and done hateful and hurtful things, and as the Body of Christ, our joy is to get to offer grace to those who have hurt us and those we love.  Offering grace is the way of Jesus.

People on both sides of the presidential election have been vilified, condescended  to, and told what to do by folks the other side.  As disciples of Jesus, we have the joy to get to offer compassion, empathy, and hear the stories of people who are tired of being vilified and condescended to.  Offering compassion, empathy, and hearing people’s stories is the way of Jesus. 

Many people who voted for President-Elect Trump are joyful that he won.  Many people who voted for Secretary Clinton are fearful that she lost.  As disciples of Jesus, we get to be curious and find out why.  We get to continually break down the dividing wall between us.

Remember that the first dividing wall between two people was made of fig leaves.  Adam and Eve, once they disobeyed God, were no longer naked and unashamed.  Instead, they were ashamed and fearful.  They hid, and put a dividing wall between themselves and between them and God:  fig leaves and accusations of blame and passing the buck. 

The way of the Gospel of Jesus is to be naked and unashamed.  The way of Jesus is to be fully who we are with each other and to let the grace of Jesus dwell in our hearts to allow us to see and love each other as we are, rather than as we think the other should be.

So, we get to be curious.  We get to ask each other, “Why did you vote for Trump/Clinton?”  Then, we get to listen.  We get to listen and not be right, not assume anything, and not give a response - other than “thank you.”.  We get to simply see the human being in front of us and remember the image of God in which they were made, the grace of Jesus which redeems, and the Holy Spirit which dwells within them.

We get to remove our fig leaves and embrace each other as brother and sister, for that is the way of Jesus. 

Be kind to others, and love those of whom you are most afraid. Remember, the fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Let no evil talk come out of your mouth, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear...be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ has forgiven you.

Rejoice with those who rejoice. Weep with those who weep. Let humility, compassion, and love rule in your heart.

Blessings and peace to you all.

Brad+