Bath Bombs and Cookies: A Loving Response

The Rev. Brad Sullivan

Emmanuel Episcopal Church

October 25, 2020

Proper 25, A

1 Thessalonians 2:1-8

Matthew 22:34-46

Bath Bombs and Cookies:  A Loving Response

The way of our whole lives is love.  “’You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment,” Jesus said, “And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”  Love is the guide through all of the laws and situations in our lives.  

Last week, I said that everything we do, we do to God.  Every kindness we give one another, every act of cruelty or disgust, every word we utter, and every action we take, all are done and given to God.  Little wonder Jesus says to act out of love.  Love is the summation of the law and the lens through which we view the law.  If we read the law and do not first and foremost read it out of love, then we’re reading it wrong.  Some of the law is hard to read through a lens of love, and you’ll notice that sometimes Jesus broke the law in order to follow the law of love.  

When Jesus didn’t stone to death a woman caught in adultery, he was breaking the law.  Stoning the woman to death, murdering her, was not just the actions of an angry mob.  Those were the actions of people who were following the letter of the law.  By not killing this woman, Jesus was breaking the law.  He was, however, following, the law of love, the law of compassion.  “Go and sin no more,” he said to the woman, after he convinced the crowd that they had all sinned and messed up in their lives too, and so they didn’t need to act as some holier than thou executioners, ignoring their own faults while killing a woman for hers.  Jesus saw this law as not fulfilling the law of love.  Jesus saw this woman and realized that her life had more value than the poor choices she’d sometimes made.  Go and live your life with that value and the possibility of what may be; go and live a life of love as one who is beloved of God.

Like the woman in that story, we’re all God’s children, eternally beloved of God and eternally worthy of each others’ love.  When we break our own modern laws and when we harm each other, we’re still worthy of each other’s love.  That includes the people we really don’t like and the people who have really and truly hurt us.  Jesus said to love our enemies, and he even broke laws in order to give compassion and love to others, even those who were criminals and notorious sinners.  

Act out of love toward all people, Jesus taught, for all that we do for or against others is done for or against God.  All that we do for or against others is also done for or against others, other people, people who matter eternally, people whose live and possibilities matter more than their misdeeds, people whose misdeeds may be cries of hurt or brokenness.  

I read a story last week of a mom whose young daughter is completely worn out by COVID life, school, stress, all of it.  The mother recounted how her daughter came home in tears because she was so exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally.  She said this exhaustion sometimes come across as anger, and I’m guessing disrespect and poor behavior at home, but she said she understand that it is exhaustion.  So, on the day she recounted, she “listened for about ten minutes, held her [daughter] tight and scratched her back, and told her to meet [her] in [the] bathroom in five minutes.” 

Cue: Awesome Bath. Big clawfoot tub, gorgeous bubbles, delicious bath bomb, her favorite candle next to the tub, sweetened iced coffee in a pretty glass, [she] teed up Alexa to play her best music ("Fly Me to the Moon" by Frank Sinatra LOL) and put fresh cookies on a little table. I threw a towel in the dryer to get warm and cozy and dimmed the lights. [Her daughter] took one look at it all and grinned from ear to ear.   (https://www.facebook.com/jenhatmaker/)

Now that was a loving response.  She saw her daughter hurting.  Past the tears, anger, and probable shouting and disrespect, this mother saw her daughter in desperate need of some soothing, some love, and some being cared for.  Past some possible misdeeds, this mother saw a cry of hurt and brokenness, a loving response.  

This particular loving response, however, is not some a new law.  We’re not just going to start drawing baths for each other anytime someone is upset, rude, or disrespectful.  For one thing, not all of us are going to have fresh baked cookies and bath bombs on hand, every time we see someone stressed out and in need of some soothing, and for another thing there are a whole lot of us for whom the bubble Frank Sinatra cookie bath would not be a pleasant, soothing treat.  The bath was given because this mother saw a cry of hurt and brokenness, a loving response, not a law.  

Laws make response easier because a law is something of a formula.  This transgression equals this punishment.  This situation equals this treatment.  Stressed out person?  Have a bath.  Angry person?  Have a bath with lavender.  You were disrespectful?  Go to your room for 30 minutes and think about how to behave better.  Well, for some, that would be a great cool down period.  For others that would be a great building a strong resentment period.  

The formulas of the law can be helpful guides, jumping off points for how to handle difficult situations, but laws are not written or meant to apply to every situation perfectly.  What is going on within each other that we hurt one another, that we break our various laws?  That’s the question that the law often doesn’t ask.  Our laws say, “You did this, and so your punishment is this.”  

Further, we sometimes follow the strictures of the law because we just don’t know what the hell else to do.  As parents, as friends, as teachers, as employers or employees, as police, as lawyers, or even as lawmakers, we often don’t know what the hell to do, as a loving response, when people are behaving terribly and harmfully.  We don’t know how to respond in a loving way, so we do the best we can figure with the laws that we have.

There is an organization nationally and here in Houston call ReVision which works with youths who are in or recently out of the juvenile justice system.  These are kids who have broken laws and so they have gone to juvenile detention centers, been put on probation and the result is that these kids often end up remaining in the criminal justice system through adulthood.  The criminal justice system itself, try though it might, can’t do the work of loving response, and so these kids’ value and possibility as beloved children of God are lost to the law.  

So, ReVision works with these kids with paid staff and with unpaid ministers and volunteers to mentor these kids, to love these kids, to help guide these kids into their value and possibility as the beloved children of God that they are.  That is a loving response.  That is the law of love.

The law of love or a loving response says, “What cry of hurt or brokenness am I hearing within you that you did this harmful thing?  What response might actually bring healing to you and maybe even to me?”  “’You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment,” Jesus said, “And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’