Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Ball

"Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball." (Colossians 3:21 - translation mine)  That might be some of the best parenting advice I've ever heard, especially from Paul.  He may have said something closer to "Fathers, do not provoke your children, or they may lose heart." (Colossians 3:21 - NRSV), but the message is about the same.  Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.  The words were originally spoken as a Phil Hartman voice-over during the Saturday Night Live commercial for "Happy Fun Ball."  You can see the video below - (skip to 12 seconds...it's not great quality, but what I could find).




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8zOtZlO52k&t=102s

Our children are so often a joy.  They are happy.  They are fun.  They should also come with a warning label at least as long as Happy Fun Ball's...especially the part about not taunting them or provoking them (in Ephesians 6:4, Paul writes not to provoke them to anger).

The need for a warning label like Paul's and Happy Fun Ball's has proved very true with my kids for one simple reason.  They are kids...and partially made from an unknown glowing substance that fell to earth, presumably from outer space.  They don't have control of their emotions yet.  They don't yet know how to respond well to perceived threats (including but not limited to:  not getting their way, being told what to do, consequences given for actions, bedtime, baths, etc.).  

Our challenge as parents is not to respond in kind.  Walk away.  Breathe.  Wait to respond until your emotions are back in check and your frontal lobe is fully functional once again.  Otherwise, in your response, you'll likely be taunting Happy Fun Ball, and we all know what happens then.  Boom!  Escalation, shouting from parents, and kids ending up feeling badly about themselves, "losing heart" as Paul wrote.

Our kids learn to behave from us, and when they see us responding to their worst behavior with our worst behavior, they learn to continue to respond in kind.  They also unfortunately learn some unintended lessons.  They learn that they are not as safe, as loved, or even as wanted as they actually are.  They lose heart and begin to believe there is something wrong with them, rather than something wrong with their behavior.  (Yes, I understand that theologically, we're all messed up, but that doesn't diminish our absolute worth to God and each other!)

Not provoking your children to anger is incredibly difficult when kids are being...well...kids.  This is one warning label, however, that should be obeyed as best and as often as possible.  Give discipline, but let the shouting and tantrums be your children's and not yours.  Kids are happy, and fun, and they may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds, but as Paul wrote almost 2000 years ago to the faithful Christians in Collosae, "Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball."

For other parenting advice:

• http://www.courageworks.com/shop/classes/gifts-of-imperfect-parenting
• The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting:  Raising Children with Courage, Compassion and Connection (Audio Book)
• Living Compass: http://www.livingcompass.org/parent/program.html/